Rihanna: My celebrity girlfriend

Lookin' good honey!

I took a quiz and I found out that my I have a celebrity girlfriend. I had no idea!

I love my celebrity girlfriend. Her name is Rihanna. She's a singer.

I've been told we have two celebrity children, but I've never heard of them, so I'm just going to pretend they don't exist.

Please don't tell my celebrity wife about my new celebrity girlfriend. And for god's sake, don't tell my real wife!

Praying Mantis

Meow

After diligently finishing all my work projects that were due today, I segued to home projects and mowed the lawn.

This big guy helped.

For his next project, he's going to build a fire in Brad, the fire pit.

Images from the hood

Hi friends!

Since many of you out there are huge PolPro fans, I'm sad to tell you that the pilot programs for both the PolPro 2.0 ShoulderPro and the PolPro 3.1aspx BackPro were such a bust, we're not going to take them to market.

I apologize. Anyone with a valid coupon - it was only available for three minutes, you cheapskates - can redeem them via the website. For three minutes.

Starting now.

Since we want to keep things moving forward in a positive direction, while we work out the PolPro kinks, we're going to share some wonderful photos from around the hood this week.

Right after we let you know that we just fired our newly hired - some might add "much needed" - graphic designer/photographer/web site admin. She'll be missed. Even though she never actually started working for us. (Take note, IRS.)

Enjoy!

Okra flower, garden

Honey, front yard

Typical haul in Fairyville, kitchen

Another great haul, scary hand included, side yard

Flowers, front yard

I hope these images pacify you. 

Those of us (still left) here at FirstYearinAsheville understand your concern about the PolPro product. Rest assured, we'll make sure to position the PolPro product suite to meet your video needs now and in the future.

In fact, you're soaking in it now.

The family that mountain bikes together...

Look! No hill!

I'm extremely proud of my wife. I love her to death. (Hers, not mine.)

A year ago, she was fresh off of shoulder surgery. Watching her go through that experience, I would advise anyone to do as much rehab as they can before "choosing" to have a surgery that will really, really f*ck them up for at least six months.

Possibly a full year.

But it gets better. Look at her now, riding a real mountain bike in an area that's quickly becoming the mountain biking mecca of the US. Go Barb!

Unauthorized image

The only issue we face as a team is this: I always get into trouble for not perfectly describing all the hills and then communicating exactly how Barb's body will react to them. Mostly because it's her body, not mine. And mine has become friends with these hills.

Here's a sampling of some of our riding dialogue:

"Is it a big hill?"

"Yes."

"Big for you?"

"Nah."

One minute passes.

"It is a big hill!"

"Ok, then it's a big hill."

"Why are you lying to me?!!"

I love my wife. And I love riding with her. But I hope that someday, someone will be able to explain to her that the flattest stretch in the greater Asheville area is approximately three-feet long - and it's not my fault. 

By the way, this next hill isn't really a hill.

When the going gets dumb, the dumb turn PolPro

Obviously, this is an epic PolPro fail. But for those of you who don't ride bikes, you'll get a feel for what it's like to go around 40 miles per hour.

On a god damn bike.

This is Spivey Mountain, which is about three miles west of our house. It took me 19 minutes and 40 seconds to climb up and two minutes and 40 seconds to fly down.

Good stuff, indeed.

With 1:04 left, you'll hear me yell, "Woo!"

That's a shout-out to a few guys I passed on the way up.

One of my favorite things about Asheville is how you can just start talking to people. No one gives a shit if they don't know you, they'll just jump right into a conversation. I don't know if it's the mountains or what, but you're able to form immediate friendships here.

I'm sure I'll be seeing those guys again. At both 0.5 mph on the way up and 40 mph on the way down.